How elevated cortisol can wake you up at 3 a.m. and what to do to get back to sleep.

Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall asleep again is a more common experience than you might imagine. Most people make the same mistake: trying to force sleep. They close their eyes tightly, say to themselves “I have to sleep”, and the more they try, the more awake they feel.

The problem is not a lack of will. In most cases, your body is trapped in an elevated state of arousal. Even if you’re tired, your nervous system is still on alert, as if there’s an invisible threat.

According to Michael Breus, a sleep specialist, to go back to sleep you don’t have to fight against the body, but help it slow down.

Why do you wake up in the middle of the night?

Your rest is regulated by two opposing systems:

• The sleep system, which includes the circadian rhythm (the body’s internal clock) and sleep pressure, which increases the longer you stay awake.
• The activation system, responsible for keeping you alert and reactive during the day.

When both are in balance, at night the activation system shuts down and sleep takes over. But sometimes—especially during the early morning—that balance is broken. The alert system stays on and overrides the natural urge to sleep, causing sudden awakenings with no clear cause.

Trying to sleep “by force” only makes the situation worse, because it activates stress and raises hormones such as cortisol. It’s like stepping on the gas when you’re trying to park.

The first thing you should NOT do when you wake up

Before applying any technique, there are three mistakes that should be avoided:

1. Don’t look at the clock
   When you see the time, your mind begins to calculate how many hours you have left to sleep. That calculation generates anxiety and activates stress.
2. Don’t look at your phone
   The light from the screen tells your brain that it’s daytime, and the content stimulates the mind even more.
3. Avoid getting out of bed, unless it is really necessary
   Staying in a restful environment helps the body to associate the bed with sleep again.

Step 1: Calm Your Nervous System with 4-7-8 Breathing

When you wake up in the middle of the night, your sympathetic nervous system (the “fight or flight” nervous system) is usually active. The goal is to activate the parasympathetic system, which is responsible for rest and recovery.

The fastest way to achieve this is through controlled breathing, which stimulates the vagus nerve and sends calming signals throughout the body.

How to do it:

• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
• Hold the air for 7 seconds.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.

Repeat the cycle 7 to 10 times.
After a few repetitions, you will notice that the heart rate drops and a feeling of heaviness or heat appears. That’s the sign that your body is going into rest mode.

Step 2: Release Built-Up Muscle Tension

Even if you think you’re relaxed, many times your body maintains hidden tension in your jaw, shoulders, or abdomen. That tension tells the brain to remain on alert.

To reverse this, use progressive muscle relaxation:

1. Start with your feet: squeeze your fingers and muscles together for 5 seconds.
2. Let go and pay attention to the feeling of relaxation for about 10 seconds.
3. Continue with calves, thighs, abdomen, hands, arms, shoulders, and face.
4. Take slow, deep breaths throughout the process.

Within 3 to 5 minutes, the body usually enters a state of deep calm, with a feeling of heaviness or gentle tingling.

Step 3: Silence the mind with “cognitive shuffling”

A logical, structured mind is an awakened mind. Before sleeping, thoughts become more visual and chaotic, entering a pre-sleep state.

To induce it, use this simple technique:

• Choose a neutral word, such as “window” or “garden.”
• Take the first letter and think of objects that start with it.
  For example: V → candle, glass, volcano.
• View each image briefly, without analyzing it.
• Then move on to the next letter and repeat the process.

The idea is not to sleep “by force”, but to keep the mind occupied in a gentle and non-threatening way, until sleep comes on its own.

When awakenings are frequent

Waking up at night doesn’t mean that your sleep is damaged or that there’s something wrong with you. It is a natural testing mechanism of the body. However, if this happens consistently and you can’t get back to sleep, it may be helpful to turn to cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), considered the most effective treatment for chronic insomnia, with high levels of improvement in the quality of rest.

Final Tips and Recommendations

• Keep regular bedtimes and wake-up times.
• Reduce bright light and screens at least an hour before bedtime.
• Avoid very heavy dinners or late-night stimulants.
• Practice relaxation techniques even before bed, not just when you wake up.
• Be patient: the less you fight sleep, the easier it will be to get it back.

Waking up at 3 a.m. is not an enemy, but a signal from your body. When you respond calmly instead of anxiously, you give them the exact message they need to get back to rest. Sleep is not forced: it is allowed.

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