There is an increasingly common phenomenon in many homes: children who demand, order, get frustrated easily and act as if their parents are obliged to serve them. They do not ask for things with respect, they do not thank and many times they do not seem to see the effort that dad or mom make every day.
But are we really raising children without empathy… Or is there something deeper behind this behavior?

For decades, the family dynamic was different. Children greeted them, asked permission, helped when they saw a busy adult, and recognized their parents’ authority. It wasn’t a perfect world, but it was one where respect, self-control, and collaboration abounded.

Today, on the other hand, it seems that many parents live at the mercy of their children: rushing to solve every problem, anticipating needs, avoiding tears, frustrations and any discomfort… all for love.
And that’s precisely where the problem begins.

The root of the problem: misdirected love

Overprotection is not born of malice or negligence. It is born of affection.
Start the day your child asked you to put his shoes on and you put them on.
Or when he cried because he couldn’t put together a toy and you did it for him.
Or when you reached for his backpack because he was in a hurry.

They were acts of love… But repeated day after day, they morphed into something else: silent messages that his brain interpreted as:

“You can’t do it alone. I do it for you. I’m here to serve you.”

And because the infant brain learns through repetition, these actions shape behavior, tolerance, empathy, and even problem-solving skills.

How Overprotection Affects Your Child’s Brain

There are three essential areas of the brain that are affected:

1. Prefrontal lobe

It is the area that helps us decide, tolerate frustration, plan and control impulses.
If the child never needs to think, make an effort or make mistakes… This area is poorly trained.

Consequence:
Children with low tolerance, poor self-control and difficulties in solving problems alone.

2. Cerebral amygdala

It is the part that reacts to stress, fear or frustration.
If we never allow small discomforts, the amygdala does not learn to self-regulate.

Consequence:
Emotional outbursts, tantrums and disproportionate reactions to any difficulty.

3. Connection between emotions and thought

Emotional maturity occurs when the child feels, but also manages to regulate.
If we solve everything before he tries, this connection is not strengthened.

Consequence:
Failure to comply with rules, impatience, difficulty in collaborating and excessive dependence.

What does a child learn to whom everything is done?

1. Learn to be served, not to cooperate.
   She believes that housework is mom’s responsibility.
2. Learn to give orders, not to ask respectfully.
   He loses the notion of authority.
3. Learn to receive effortlessly.
   He does not develop a sense of accomplishment.
4. She stops seeing care as love and sees it as an obligation.
   That’s why many children don’t give thanks: they think it’s your duty.
5. Stop seeing yourself as a person.
   If you always say yes, if you’re never tired, he doesn’t recognize your limits.

It’s not the child’s fault.
It’s learning.
And like all learning… can be re-educated.

How to start changing this dynamic

Here are six simple and powerful recommendations to start real change:

1. Don’t do for your child what he can already do alone.

Putting toys away, getting dressed, preparing a simple snack, tidying up their backpack.
It doesn’t matter if you take too long or make a mistake. The goal is to get them to practice.

2. Allow for small frustrations.

Don’t run to save him.
Accompany, guide and encourage him to try again.

3. Give them real responsibilities.

Not symbolic tasks.
Specific tasks that contribute to the house: making the bed, setting the table, putting away clothes.

4. Teach them to ask respectfully.

If he says, “Give me water,” reply,
“Speak respectfully. How would you ask for it well?”

When he does, reinforce:
“Thank you for asking me nicely.”

5. Show them your limits.

Saying “I’m tired” or “Today it’s your turn to do it” is not abandonment.
It is emotional education.

6. It validates their effort more than their perfection.

The most powerful message is,
“I love that you tried.”

Tips & Recommendations

• Keep routines clear: Children are more cooperative when they know what is expected of them.
• Model respect: speak as you want to be spoken to.
• Don’t overexplain: be brief, firm, and calm when setting boundaries.
• Celebrate progress, not just results.
• Set timeouts: “First I’ll finish this, then I’ll help you.”
• Use daily difficulties as learning opportunities, not punishment.

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